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Especially when they are young, children learn best about responsibility in concrete situations. What you do and how you interact on an everyday basis influuence your child. What they do and what they witness have lasting effects.
Children learn from seeing, hearing, and overhearing. The best way to encourage your children to become responsible is to act as responsibly as you can in their presence. You must genuinely try to be the sort of people you hope they will try to become. You can show them by your words and by your actions that you respect others. You can show them your compassion and concern when others are suffering. They need to see your own self-control, courage, and honesty. They need to learn that you treat yourselves, as well as others, with respect, and that you always try to do your best. As they grow older, they should have the chance to learn why you live as you do.
Hand back the extra change when the cashier gives you too much. Leave a tip at a restaurant if the food was cold, and the waitress was nice. Explain to your child the action you are taking and why you are taking it. Ask them what they would do in a simlar situation.
As your children watch you and as you talk to them, encourage their questions and try to answer them thoughtfully, they begin to understand you--and you will begin to understand them. Understanding each other is the best way to teach your children respect for your ideals of good character.
Teach through Stories
Children also learn about responsibility through many activities, including reading stories. They learn by identifying with individual characters or because the message from a favorite story strikes a particular chord. Children can be touched deeply by good literature, and they may ask to have things read to them again and again.
Children can learn all sorts of lessons from stories. Make sure to ask questions and help your child with his or her reading comprehension. Ask them what they may have done differently in that situation.
Help Your Child Learn Good Judgment
Children develop their capacity for judging what is a responsible act, just as they come to appreciate the meaning of responsibility, through practice. Especially when they are young, children need to see moral questions in terms that are meaningful to them.
You can also help your children develop good judgment by talking through complicated situations with them. One way is to help them understand the long-term consequences of different choices. If they tell us about a story they have read, you might ask them to imagine what the result might have been if a favorite character had acted differently.
Your child's ability to reason about different issues, including ethical ones, will improve as your child matures. Just as reasoning can lead to a more thoughtful understanding of responsibility, or what actions to take in complicated situations, it may also become easier to rationalize selfish or reckless behavior. But if you have helped your young child develop strong habits of considering the welfare of others, honesty, courage, and admiration for worthy accomplishments, your child will have a solid foundation on which to build.
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